tailieunhanh - THE ASSERTIVENESS POCKET BOOK phần 9

Mờ sương là hữu ích khi ai đó đang gây áp lực để làm một cái gì đó thực sự không lợi ích tốt nhất của bạn, và bạn sẽ không làm điều đó. Như vậy, phản ứng của bạn yêu cầu là đặt lên một màn sương. Lắng nghe những gì người nói, và quyết định có hay không bạn muốn thực hiện theo quy định. | ASSERTIVENESS SKILLS FOGGING Fogging is useful when someone is putting pressure on you to do something that is really not in your best interest and you would rather not do it. Thus your response to the request is to put up a fog. Listen to what the person says and decide whether or not you wish to comply. If not then using their words or similar acknowledge their need but state your case. In this way you show the person that you have understood their request but that you are not going to comply. This method is a very polite method of saying No . REQUEST I want it now You should help me This is important I need this RESPONSE I can see why you would want that but my priority is . Perhaps I should but right now I have other priorities. Of course it is important but not as important as . I am sure you do but it is just not possible now. By using this technique you are less likely to be manipulated into doing something you would rather not and yet you cannot be accused of recognising the other person s need. ASSERTIVENESS SKILLS NEGATIVE ENQUIRY Once you have mastered Negative Assertion and Fogging you will be ready for Negative Enquiry which is real fun. Here you invite extra criticism and or examples so that you have the benefit of additional feedback. ACCUSATION You re lazy You re always late You re stupid Oh really in what way specifically Always How do you know that for a fact My understanding may be different from yours what exactly do you mean by that You re selfish Can you explain why this particular instance has caused you to brand me with such a label If the person is genuine and cares for you such replies will lead to real feedback. Then you can decide whether the accusation is justified and whether you want to do anything about it see page 58 onwards . ASSERTIVENESS SKILLS POWER WORDS In being assertive certain words are very powerful indeed and used in the correct context are exceptionally persuasive. Power words and phrases are 85